Monday, August 3, 2009

Roller Coaster of Emotions!!!!!

I feel like my emotions are all over the place today, up until now my HPT's have been BFN's. It was reccomended that I use the First Response Early Response (FRER) HPT so I picked up a few on my way home from work today. I curiously used one when I got home, another BFN! I know that it is best to use FMU so I will try it again first thing in the morning. I am reading that there are still many women that receive BFP's between days 6-10 and even a few up to day 12. I am being told I am still early. I have read that a few other women get BFN's all the way up to their beta day testing and then their beta numbers begin doubling and they are indeed pregnant although they received negative HPT's up until the beta test. So, all of those stories give me hope! I felt a bit crushed having recieved another negative test today though as I was hoping this new test would be a bit more accurate. Maybe it is...and this is just not working...so hard to know. All I can say is the 2WW period is emotionally draining. I do feel like I am able to manage/cope w/ these feelings well w/ thoughts always in the back of my mind that this could very well likely work too!!!!! My husband says that when it is meant to happen it will. I just don't want to go through another cycle again if I do not have to! This cycle is really taking it's toll on my poor body. My stomach has bloated out significantly (unable to button and zip most pants!) and over this weekend my skin suddenly began breaking out all over my chest, neck and face :( It has not gone away and the doctor feels it is contributed to the progesterone in oil shots. Yep, I think out of all the injectable medications this has by far been the worst between the bloating and the skin breakouts. Hopefully I will have a baby out of it and it will be well worth it!!! I have come to realize that this is in God's hands and I have no control over this outcome other than taking percautions to not overdo myself. I do believe as my husband pointed out that when she is meant to enter this world she will whether it is this cycle, the next, the next or maybe never...what is meant to be for our family will happen and I need to find peace and acceptance in that.....

2 comments:

Janalee said...

wow, this is really stressing me out!

LL said...

D! Hugs and prayers.