Happy Thanksgiving!

To all my family and friends, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your support this year. I wish you a wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving....

I have not felt much like writing lately, I have good and bad days...I still struggle w/ my unsuccessful IVF cycle but the support of family and a listening ear (I must apologize in advance to all those that listen over and over to my stories!) but it all helps. Then the day after I found out my cycle did not work my puppy "Lucky" magically appeared and came into my life. He filled a piece of my heart that was missing, we bonded and what a sweet puppy he is. I am sad to say that Chandler's allergies and asthma are at the worst they have been in 4 yrs since we brought Lucky home and we have no choice but to find him a new home and family. Needless to say I am heartbroken...I was packing up some of Lucky's things today and I broke down in tears. He is my baby....my husband listened and offered me a hug. I needed it! He does not quite undersand my emotional state regarding all of this, but he appeared in my life when I needed him most. I love him for that, well for many reasons. He follows me around and offers nothing but his unconditional love, he is my playmate, running buddy (yes, I am running more now!) and is an all around sweet and loving dog. He is very well trained and every morning when I head down the stairs I cannot help but to smile when I see him in his crate wagging his tail at the site of me coming to see him! If there is any good news to this I think we may have found a loving family for him. They are actually neighbors a few blocks away and they are coming over tommorrow evening to see him. I pray this family works for him, they appear to really enjoy animals and once owned a similar breed dog that passed away two yrs ago. I only want the best for him. The Saddest part....my youngest son, this is his dog too. Not only did he lose his cat last year (long story) but now he is losing his dog. I feel like I am carrying around so much grief/loss. My heart aches for the daughter I feel like is slipping away and for my new love "Lucky" that we are forced to give away....

I must say though, just as I can count my losses I can count my blessings, many of them. I am so thankful for so much in my life and here are a few:
1. Basic/survival needs of life (food, shelter, clothing, etc...)
2. Veterans and my freedom
3. My health and the health of my family & friends
4. Employment especially in an economy that suffering
5. My friends & family!!!!
6. The ability to provide for my family especially my two boys
7. BEING A MOM
8. BEING A WIFE MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND ROSS

These make the top of my list, no order, they are all close to my heart.

Update on our IVF status: We have 4 female frozen embryos left, 2 strong, 1 fair, 1 less than fair. Less than fair one will most likely not make it through the defrost process. So if all goes well I will have 3 to transfer. My RE said even if I end up w/ 2 I should be in good shape. We are now planning to wait until April or May 2010. We do not want to take out another loan or put it on a CC so we will be saving and paying cash for it. As it is we will be paying on our first IVF loan for the next 7 yrs! Yes a bit difficult to swallow sometimes but I need to remember that it was better to have at least tried then to have never tried at all and always wondered. I am a firm believer things happen for a reason so I need to remind myself of this IF this next and last cycle does not work. I am so very much praying though for my little girl to make her way to me next year!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!! By the way, we are ordering out again this year, this year from Mimi's Cafe. I am very excited, will keep you posted on how it is~